While we're on the subject...

I'll have to ask my brother, but it seems to me that the top speed on a Prius is 20 mph since no one ever drives one any faster than that. Ever.

2 Cars Per Green Part 2

1. Those ARE welders masks that happen to provide protection from bird flu and other Asian diseases such as cat indigestion and tinycocolytis.

2. In San Jose, the signs should be written in Chinese as "2 CAR YOU GO NOW!"

3. In Los Angeles, the sign should also include a picture of a 65 year old Caucasian man holding money. That would at least get the Asian females to notice it.

2 Cars Per Green

Why is it so hard to understand? When the metering light turns green, the car in front of you, and YOU can go. Has the wonderfully beautiful California sun cooked your brain so much that you cant read tiny little black and white signs at the entrance of the freeways? Or, are all of you driving those Toyota Camerys and Honda Accords actually Asian Females wearing welders masks??????

Everything is Bigger in Texas....

Except the budget for electric golf carts at IAH (George Bush Intercontinental airport) in Houston. I take that back, maybe its not a small budget, but a couple of bad apples who ruined the bunch. Let me set the scene for you.... It's 5AM CST at IAH, I'm walking through the terminal and I hear a person not yelling, but loudly speaking "beap" "beap" "beap". I turned around expecting to see some jackass with a big suitcase. Instead I find an electric cart driven by an employee of IAH, transporting some non-crippled non-frequent flyers who are too inept to walk on their own. Can they not afford to fix the horns? Did some angry ill-tempered driver "lay on the horn" a little too long. Either way its a story that didn't end well. Beep moves no one, "HONK" does, but I'm sure the same cry baby who complained about the horn, also said "HONK" was offensive. When walking through an airport; use your legs, move fast and grow a pair, or buy an ipod (and then a wheelchair).

I didn't get crabs...just cuts.

I've been to that red light district and that's the same girl I took back to my hotel. She wasn't worth it though. I had her on her back and she just kept watching tv. Maybe I should've put the tv on her left side.

Best appetizer since "bacon wrapped pork stuffed with ham"

In my never ending search for all things Pig, I may have found an appetizer that gets right to the point with out having to pull any punches. Any future relationship will only have a chance at being my second love, for my happy heart has already been completed by "Pint o Bacon". Hope no one is starring at my pants right now!?!

Red light district, Old news!

I've never been to Amsterdam, but I sure have heard a lot about the naked women soliciting sex in the red light district. Well I found a better place thats closer and safer for you and your health. South Beach Miami FL. On Collins Ave between 17th and Lincoln. Leave your condoms and worries at home and enjoy the "plastic light district"!!! p.s. her name is Candy and she is sweet!