Forgive us

And, yes, my apologies to our legion of followers (mostly in the greater Chicago area...mmm, area) for neglecting this blog for far too long. Like a cheap whore we teased you with our wares and dressed it up in scantilly clad outfits like slutty schoolgirls on the...what was I talking about?

Wienerschnitzel vs. Hebrew National vs. Jim

I totally agree with my cohost. There have been plenty of times at 2 AM that I've craved meat and gone out for it. Of course, where I go there's also a steam room and jacuzzi and they give you free condoms and lube at the door.

Some habits never die...

Last Thursday I was ready to ask a girl out on a date. I see her every so often and I thought to myself that I've never really done something like this so "what the hell and go for it". As I was talking to her about school I soon found out it was Santa Monica high school...yikes. I really need to stop hanging out at Sanrio.

NYC.........pt 3

Do you know what's great about a city that never sleeps? Those people need to eat. In a city were you can get any food, at anytime, delivered to you anywhere, I find it's best......to eat out. Who wants some dirty armpit smelling Greek, delivering their Thai food and banging on their door at 3:27am? Not me. I go to the hot dog stands, the guys with the carts full of meats skewers, and of course the NY Times rated 3 and 4 star places. Nowhere else on earth can you find a Sunday brunch buffet or as they call it a "schmorgizborg" containing 7 different types of pickled hearing made by an Ethiopian chef that was raised in Scandinavia. Nor could you find a plain old white guy making the best deep south, KC style, and Texas barbecue I've ever had. Only in NYC. Come hungry, try as much as you can, then go throw up and eat some more.

NYC.........pt 4

During my time in the the big apple I met up with one of my friends, Dan. He currently lives about 10 or 15 miles from me in CA. It doesn't really makes sense to travel 3000 miles to hang out, but this was different. I was there to watch him compete. He was crammed into the basement of a church, in a boxing ring to kick some ass. Muay Thai the art of eight limbs. Or in poor Dan's case the art of drawing. Not with crayons, but with judges score cards. He's a scrappy Hawaiian dude who is probably the nicest guy on planet earth. So nice that he beats up his opponent and still let's them share the win. Here's to you Dan "the draw specialist" "the equalizer" "the distance" Ash.
p.s. I dragged my 52yr old mother to watch the fights. I thought it was funny until her retaliation was to drag me to Mary Poppins on Broadway the following evening.

NYC.... pt. 5

After searching, visiting, walking by, and calling 8 of the 15 Ricky's (the only store in the world that carries BK Flame) I've come out empty handed. Apparently Burger King's body spray is not only popular, but also in short supply. And for the worst part..... My friend says it doesn't even smell like meat. But she does think that they have interlaced beefness into it for the acceptance of the unsuspecting consumer. "Just like they do chicken nuggets" she said. Conspiracy?

On the shelf it went........

Have you ever gotten the coolest Christmas gift ever? You opened the wrapper and you were so excited you didn't put it down for like a month or two. Then, just suddenly one day, you didn't even touch it. The next day or so you had completely forgotten about it. Two weeks go by, and when you remember it, you look for it, finally find it, and then shelve it away so "you know where it is later". Sorry Blog, Sorry Co-Host, Sorry those who crave the attention that racist jokes and put-downs provide. No Thanks to the readers who didn't call the show to remind either of us that we had a show to run. FYMs.

And now I have diarrhea

So what could possibly be the downside of a jumbo deal only costing $2.99? Going through the drive thru and realizing that it's so cheap that I should add a breakfast jack to my order and the whole bill would still be under five bucks. Who the hell needs a jumbo jack, two tacos, fries AND a breakfast sandwich?! Answer, me. At 1:00 AM. Last night. And I wasn't even drunk.

And in case you're curious. Yes, I finished it.