Is it just me, or...

do midgets have really big asses?

Blind people cant see the future

Would you believe me if I told you that most blind people hate hybrid cars? Word is they're scared they might walk in front of one because they are so quiet, almost silent. Pretty sure I've never seen a crushed dog in a harness under a Prius or a red and white walking stick smashed into pieces around the tires of a Civic hybrid. If I'm getting around 50 miles to the gallon and super concerned about stretching every ounce of fuel, that last thing I want to do is drag a blind man and his harnessed dog down the street. Friction alone would drop me to at least 30 MPG. And don't get me started on poor aerodynamics

What a girl wants.....

Funny you bring up length. Just the other day you had to clear something up for me, and I'm glad you did. I had been telling people that for me; from largest to smallest it went pubes, balls, penis. Apparently I had things out of sorts and order. You'll be happy to know I decided to do a little switch-a-roo. I might have ruined my facial hair trimmer and wasted a bunch of time with swinging weights but now it goes PENIS, balls, pubes. Success!

WTF??!!

This woman has...

A. Just found out that Chicago was not chosen to host the 2016 Olympic Games.
B. Just realized she wasted 2 hours reading this blog.

or

C. Just learned that when my cohost told her 8 inches, it was how long the erection lasts, not how long it is. And that his elementary school taught time in units of length.

Honey, do I look salty in this?

I also notice that half the cans are regular SPAM and half are 25% less sodium.

Kind of a HIS and HERS gift pack.

Just in time for the holidays...

So the Valley Faire Safeway sells a SPAM gift package?!

This is the perfect gift for that "hard to shop for" Hawaiian friend whose only two interests are illegal porn that can't be shipped from Bangkok, and actually banging kok.