Let me try one...

When you and Chuck Norris are in a Subway and you order a $5 footlong, you give Chuck Norris 10 bucks.

Walker Ranger in Texas

I just got a great new book..."The Truth About Chuck Norris". Here's an excerpt:

"Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one."

This stuff just writes itself...

This is a snapshot of an actual menu to Pomona Mining Company...a steakhouse with a great view of Orange County. One can obviously see why I tried to make a reservation here since they have a Glory Hole. That would have been a mouthful, but the dish actually comes with asparagus spears and a bearnaise sauce. Really?! Oh, come on!!

I think the picture speaks for itself...

I was in Pottery Barn the other day and the girl I was with really liked this lamp. I didn't have the heart to tell her that that's the only way Mrs. Jolly Green Giant can hide her gigantic dildo. Ho, Ho, Ho indeed.